and then there was one!

This past weekend my brother got married! it was so much fun.. I had a blast with my two favorite cousins in the world.. we danced every dance.. and sang every song.. I caught the bouquet ( which kinda made the bride and all the brides maids unhappy) but it was fun we ate good food and laughed, and even cried a bit :) all in all it was a fun night.. my parents said one down one to go! :)

when it rains it pours..

its been pouring for days.. i cant seem to get it to stop.. :(
I pray that God helps me to see the sun though all the rain...

overlooked

I am sitting in my room... realizing so much about my week to come.. This is a huge week for my family.. and I am so emotional about this week. at the start of the week i have TONS to do to get ready for the end of the week and what is to come.. I am sad about what i realized.. I am stressed right now thinking of all i have to do, from getting stockings and my dressed fixed to a gift and my nails done.. these things are not things i am really concerned about doing.. as you can see i put them off until now.. this weekend my brother is getting married.. and i feel so bad.. I have been dealing with a while bunch of personal issues, and have totally overlooked what is supposed to be the happiest day of my brothers life.. its not only my personal issues that are preventing me or others to not take joy in this day for my brother but Monday after my brother ties the not my father is having a serious surgery, it is a 4 too 6 hour surgery involving the removal of two ribs and a scraping of the lungs.. a good friend of my father had the same surgery and did not make it out.. so i know my fathers mind is consumed by these thoughts, and my mothers as well, for what would she do with out my father.. and how much she is going to have to take care of him after the surgery.. our minds have been so consumed by thoughts and things we need to do to get prepared for the coming home from the surgery and road to recovery and the what if's for me the personal issues.. that we have put the wedding on the back burner.. I know that i will be a great big ball of emotion.. and if you know my mom she will too.. Please if anyone reads this ever pray for my family.. that we can enjoy the day with my borther.. and pray for my father and that he does well through the process.. pray for my mom to be stong though it all, and for me.. that i can look past my own issues and enjoy the wedding and be there for my mom and dad for the rest of the week, also pray for my brother that he can enjoy his honeymoon, and trust that God has everything under control back here..

why give up now?

so its super late.. I have been sleeping well what so ever.. but tonight that is not the reason why i am just getting to bed now.. lately I have been addicted to doing puzzles.. yes thats right i said puzzles! I know i know I am only 27 years old.. what am i doing.. doing puzzles. but it has really has become a great source of therapy for me.. Today/tonight my friend karen bought out a new puzzle.. a much harder puzzle then we have been doing in the past.. its a thousand pieces and is only black and white.. its so hard.. around 1:00am after working on the puzzle for hours already karen said to me i am going to work until 2:00am I have put so much time into this already how can i give up now..

I stopped.. and thought why? why give up now.. I was not talking about a puzzle i was thinking more on a personal level.. but.. we work 7 hours on a puzzle a put so much time and effort into it.. we did not just want to say screw it and give up, take apart all the pieces apart and put them away. We decided to keep going.. Not long ago i was told by someone that they were ready to just give up on something they have been working at for 7 years 7 YEARS... to just give up walk away.. and leave just drop it just like that.. we did not stop at a puzzle because we put so much time in it.. WHY do people just give up when so much time is invested... i just don't get it.. it hurts my heart..