I’m having a baby… Or am I?

Over the years I have been drawn to kids. Maybe its because I have such a heart for kids. Maybe its because I am a kid at heart? I whatever the reason maybe, I have had plenty of jobs dealing with kids. Working at as a girl ski/snowboard instructor I always got the kids classes, I baby sat from the time I could stay home alone, I worked for moms groups playing with kids. I thought science to kids, and then worked at a camp with kids, I worked with babies, and middle-aged kids, I worked with Jewish kids, and even handicapped kids. I love kids. But lately I have been thinking about my own kids. And the thought of actually ever wanting any,

When I was younger I wanted kids. Even up to my early 20’s I wanted kids. Heck last week I wanted kids. But then I started to really think about it. I wanted 11 kids. (Maybe not all my own!) But after I hit 25 and did not start this process I cut it down to 7, now being 27, I thought maybe I just want 2, or better yet, just give ONE all my attention. For who knows how old ill be when I finally do have kids. And maybe ill “breakdown” and not work anymore and wont be able to enjoy my kids. My father was 42 when we was diagnosed with lupus, and my aunt was in her mid 30’s when she got breast cancer (she having two kids (ages1 and 3) It really sets you back, my father cant do half of what he used to because of this. Now I am not saying I am going to get a disease but you just don’t know!


My other factors in not wanting a child are. They coast a lot of money. That I don’t have. . I would want to be a stay at home mom. But sometimes I am not even sure where my next meal is going to come from so how could I take care of a baby, and I think the front wheel of my car is lose and I don’t think that it is safe for a baby! ☺ And lastly I am kind of babied out. Our family has had a baby boom of its own and went from having my cousin ray who is 24 being the youngest to having 10 babies/kids running around and one on the way, also I’m living with 3 little boys, and watching other kid on and offs. Or at least taking part in their lives makes me say “hey. Why have my own, I can just take care of these ones and spoil them and then give em' back!

I don’t know what the feature will bring. and i dont think there is anything wrong with having a baby! infact if you are call me, ill spoil your kids and then drop them back off to you! But for now these are my thoughts!

Here are some kids I spend parts of my life with! ☺