I’m having a baby… Or am I?

Over the years I have been drawn to kids. Maybe its because I have such a heart for kids. Maybe its because I am a kid at heart? I whatever the reason maybe, I have had plenty of jobs dealing with kids. Working at as a girl ski/snowboard instructor I always got the kids classes, I baby sat from the time I could stay home alone, I worked for moms groups playing with kids. I thought science to kids, and then worked at a camp with kids, I worked with babies, and middle-aged kids, I worked with Jewish kids, and even handicapped kids. I love kids. But lately I have been thinking about my own kids. And the thought of actually ever wanting any,

When I was younger I wanted kids. Even up to my early 20’s I wanted kids. Heck last week I wanted kids. But then I started to really think about it. I wanted 11 kids. (Maybe not all my own!) But after I hit 25 and did not start this process I cut it down to 7, now being 27, I thought maybe I just want 2, or better yet, just give ONE all my attention. For who knows how old ill be when I finally do have kids. And maybe ill “breakdown” and not work anymore and wont be able to enjoy my kids. My father was 42 when we was diagnosed with lupus, and my aunt was in her mid 30’s when she got breast cancer (she having two kids (ages1 and 3) It really sets you back, my father cant do half of what he used to because of this. Now I am not saying I am going to get a disease but you just don’t know!


My other factors in not wanting a child are. They coast a lot of money. That I don’t have. . I would want to be a stay at home mom. But sometimes I am not even sure where my next meal is going to come from so how could I take care of a baby, and I think the front wheel of my car is lose and I don’t think that it is safe for a baby! ☺ And lastly I am kind of babied out. Our family has had a baby boom of its own and went from having my cousin ray who is 24 being the youngest to having 10 babies/kids running around and one on the way, also I’m living with 3 little boys, and watching other kid on and offs. Or at least taking part in their lives makes me say “hey. Why have my own, I can just take care of these ones and spoil them and then give em' back!

I don’t know what the feature will bring. and i dont think there is anything wrong with having a baby! infact if you are call me, ill spoil your kids and then drop them back off to you! But for now these are my thoughts!

Here are some kids I spend parts of my life with! ☺

my yummy meal! :)

Today I so wanted to eat something good, For lunch I had the boys that meant fast food, chicken nuggets and personal sized pizza, although I did try a little part of each of there meal it was not satisfying to me what so ever. When I got home I checked out the fridge to see what I can have on a more healthy side and nothing, cheese sticks, and milk, no thank you!

It was almost dinner time, I am not sure what to have still Andres called and said he had left over Wendy’s Chili and rice, no thank you, so on the way to his house I stopped at the store and bought a bunch of different foods to help me make a meal that hit the spot!






TACO SALAD!!! Yay!!!! yummy taco salad!

NYC

They say New York City is the place to be... And it is so true. There are many things at your fingertips in NYC. Heck the city to me is all the countries coming together in one place. Sometimes while in the city I imagine it to be a lot like heaven, with better langue, and ALOT cleaner! It pretty amazing to me the amount of people in the city, PEOPLE just doing their own thing, to make it along in life, As I was in the subway I saw a older man begging for money, at that point I thanked God that even though I don’t have a job right now He has provided me with a place to live and food to eat.




When on the train, there were three young girls I would say early to mid 20's and each one with its own baby/child I heard one little boy call one of the girls mom, so I assumed they were all young single parents, for I did not see any rings or hear talks of any dads or husbands. I over head the one girl tell the other how she does not go out to have fun any more, because her baby takes up so much time and money. At this point a feeling of hurt came over my heart, and burden for those who are less fortunate than me, I know in any case what so ever weather I am 27 or 37 married or single kids or no kids, what ever may come my way, I have a mother and father who would do anything for me, and help me out with whatever I need. And above that I have a GOD who’s is not going to bring me this far just to drop me. That is when I started to really think about my feature, and what is to come next, and I want to help those who have nothing I want to reach out and love them, and go above and beyond for them. I want to help single parents that have nothing; I want to help teen parents and even the homeless. I want to give them that my parents would give me and what my God gives me! If not in material things, in unconditional love. 






Getting off the subway in that short 45 min trip, my heart was changed... maybe i need to go to the city more often! For some spending too much time in the hardens there heart.. For me... it opens mine to a world of possibilities, and fills my heart with compassion for so many!

Rainy days

This morning I woke up to the sound of raindrops on my window. It was grey and gloomy. In the summer, every nice day is a day I want to be out and about walking, swimming, playing, at parks riding rides, or just simply enjoying the weather... But today the rain and bad weather reminded me of the things I love doing on rainy days, and have not done in some time. So I put on my favorite pair of sweats and a hoodie, I thought of all the possibilities of things I could do, but then I remembered its Monday, I have the kids. :( On my rainy days, I would like to curl up on the couch with a good book and a really good movie, and if I only read two pages of the book, or see 15 mins of the movie and fall asleep its ok! But watching 3 boys ages 3, 5, 7, you cant do that. There is no way. SO. Instead we enjoyed the indoors by playing computer games, making videos with my camera, and taking some funny pictures...




However when their dad got home I did have some time to myself before have to go to my "other job" (nothing bad! just helping to work on the college yearbook) but I got to read a bit of my current book (Tuesdays with Morrie) and watch some HGTV... nothing like I had dreamed when I woke up this morning, but it was something, although I love my tan, I cant wait for the fall for more sweatpants and movie days! :)

The beach

I love a day at the beach, this weekend I spent one whole day at the beach with my favorite person in the world! it was a great day full of Boardwalk french fries, big waves, naps, talking, laughing, swimming, sun and bonding... If the summer allows i would love to get back but for now, I have a good tan and some great memories!

The bet!

I have an issue with my hair, I get to a certain point in my hair growing process and I freak, and cut it all off, So December 2006, I made a bet with myself that I would not cut my hair for a year. With 8 months down and 4 to go, I am going strong. Not sure what I think of the whole thing but I am going to keep up my end of the bet. (Although they are both my ends)

Here is a little peek to my hair stages. This picture was taken LAST summer, when one day I got bored and just got bored, and called my best friend Mandy and asked her if she wanted to join me in getting a hair cut... this was the end result a pixie haircut!


Next was taken in November, a little bit of a different color, and getting a bit longer...


Then comes December the month of the bet... this is when trims, and all where now banned, and the growing process begins! Also pictured my cats. Jezzi and Larry, that’s how they like to ride in the car,


In January the Shag look begins!


Spring time arrives!!! And I have not cut my hair in months, or taken a picture of the progress... But it’s May and my hair has grown a bit...




And here we are now... July. And it’s not much longer. But it’s getting there.




And here is the ponytail... not long what so ever. But a pony tail none the less...




So just a few more months to go, I have had many urges to go to the "CHOP SHOP" with it. I am hoping that it grows faster because in November of this year my brother is getting married, and although I am not a huge part of the big day I would like for my hair to look decent for the day! 

But my biggest thought and wonder has been. Am I really a person that can pull off long hair? This is quite new to me! 

Ill keep you ALL posted with my progress! :)

DUDES!

Hi dudes!!! Just thought i would try out this new place to blog! I am going to try to blog here once a day, with picutes and everything! :) it would be nice to keep up with this!! so here i go! i am just gonna blog a few tonight to get caught up!

ENJOY! :)